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Day 10 – Jooooooookes!

Todays options are:

Katy S – Jokes! What’s your totes most amazeballs jokes!?!
Katy P – Journeys – tell me your most memorable
Fiona – Jokes – do what you want with this one

So…both the girls can have a point for this one…am not great with jokes but, here are a few which crack me up!

Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?
The ultrasound guy

Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital if the ultrasound guy isn’t there?
The hip replacement guy

How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his tea before it was cool

This one is a bit longer…

A little old lady died and went to Heaven. When she reached the Pearly Gates  she saw Saint Peter waiting for her and smiling when suddenly from nowhere she heard the most awful, blood curdling screams.
‘What in Heavens name was that?!’ asked the old lady
‘Nothing to worry about,’ said Saint Peter ‘It’s only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the Angel wings.’ The old lady looked a little uncomfortable but carried on talking about her life on earth, to see if she truly had been good enough to enter Heaven; until a scream interupted them for the second time…
‘Oh my Goodness,’ said the old lady, ‘now what is happening?’
‘All perfectly normal’  St. Peter explained ‘That’s just someone having her head drilled to fit the halo.’
The little old lady turned a little green.
‘I can’t do this,’ she said, ‘I’m going to hell instead!’
‘You can’t go to that awful place,’ St. Peter eclaimed ‘You’ll be raped and soddomised and taken advantage of!!’
‘Maybe so,’ says the old lady ‘But at least I’ve already got the holes for that!’

Ahh it does make me chuckle! Hope at least one of these made you smile!


About LilMissKaty

Just a normal girl who likes to try new things, go on adventures, spend time with fun people and tell stories...which is how this blog came about really!

4 responses »

  1. Hehehehe! I love it 😀 The first 3 had me chuckling at my desk like a mad women, so I proceeded to tell anyone in the vicinity, so now they are all chuckling like mad people!

    • Haha you can thank CB for the first three, him and his jokes. Almost certainly how he wooed me. That and the accent…and the guitar playing and singing skills. Hmm. Haha! Glad you’re all in happy, joke filled places anyway xx

  2. Hahaha…hilarious…I must say, I do love a good old St Peter joke myself. My favourite one:

    Four Nuns arrive at the pearly gates. St Peter says

    “There are certain things you have may have to confess and seek forgivenss for before u can come in” ” Have you ever seen a man’s willy?” mother Brigette said, yes i have. “Then wash out your eyes with holywater in the fountain”

    “Have to ever touched aman’s willy” mother Geraldene said Yes I stroked one once. ” Wash your hands with holywater from the fountain”

    Just then there was a lot of scuffling and pushing for position amongst the nuns and St Peter said “please ladies, what’s all the excitement about”

    Mother Mary said “well if i’ve got to wash my mouth out with holywater I want to do it before Mother Maureen puts her big fat arse in it.”

    Ah, Pearly Gates…great blog.


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