I’m kind of sad today. Maybe I’m just tired after 3 late nights, or maybe everything going on is finally getting to me. It feels as though some parts of my life are finally slotting into place; making me feel happy and content. Life here is beginning to remind me of life in Bristol. Then I remember that in a month I will be leaving, leaving to start all over again. I know this is my choice, not only a choice but a dream, but it has taken a year and a half for me to find a routine, friends and feel at home somewhere and now it’s ending. It’s the start of amazing things, things I have always wanted to do, but nonetheless sometimes the thought of leaving everyone I love makes me sad. At the moment it feels too soon. Seriously, only in the past 2 months has everything started to go right, new friends, a social life, a routine. Couldn’t make it up! In complete contrast, other parts of my life are a complete shambles, parts of my day I have no control over. For the most part I have learnt to make peace with the fact that I will never be able to fix them and in a horrible selfish way, leaving makes me feel better about these things, I will finally have escaped and be unacountable. In a way I’ll be free. It’s a conflict.
All in all days like today make finding three happy thoughts tricky. For this reason (and because the last two days I’ve been unable to blog in the evening) I thought I would do it early, while the day still has potential.
- A good book. I’ve been reading the Hunger Games trilogy at the moment and really enjoying it. At the moment I’m halfway through the third one and torn between ‘can’t put it down’ and ‘read slowly because it’s the last one!!’.
- Comments galore! I had a really good blogging/commenting sesh with Peg and Katy S today, it made me smile. Thanks girls 🙂
- I’m really looking forward to this evening. The plan is basic; a movie, cuddles on the couch and an early night but sometimes you need cuddles and a good sleep. Hopefully it’ll do me some good. Might even have a Toffee Brothers and finish the ice cream. Why not eh?